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A Thousand Dollar Smile

A week ago we saw the reigning AL MVP chat it up with a 5-time Super Bowl MVP inside the bowels of Raymond James Stadium.

A lot can happen to a guy within the span of a day, a week, a month, or a year.

Yesterday the Bucs were laid out by 7th round draft pick Brock Purdy and the formidable 49ers, just six days after they beat the Saints. And only a couple days after attending the Tampa Bay - New Orleans game, Aaron Judge signed a 9-year 360 million dollar deal.

As we can see, not all smiles are created equal. Some are forlorn, and some are genuine. And some change over time.

It’s funny how a few hundred million dollars can give a guy, well…literally, a million dollar smile.


I don’t think the TB12 method allows for anything but a pristine grill anyway, and in case you forgot, remember that one time Aaron Judge got his chiclets knocked clean out of his mouth?

As stated many a time, I’m a Bills fan, so I find very few commonalities with Tom Terrific, but I do have one thing in common with Aaron Judge, I’ve had to get my teeth fixed too.


I should say, I’m in the process of getting them fixed as I just got braces 5 weeks ago.


I don't have millions of dollars like the honorable Judge, and my canines didn't blow up on Brett Gardner's helmet, I'm just a guy in his mid-30's that's been deathly afraid of the dentist my whole life.


My smile isn't as crooked as track 14 on Born Sinner, and I definitely don't look like Ken Daneyko in 2003, but the time to face my fears, and get my teeth sorted out was long over due.

...Kenny Daneyko was a different breed of crazy.

You know what else would’ve been crazy?


Never going to the dentist.


Since I’m not a math guy, my rough estimate between trips was around 24 years.


You know what else is crazy?


Having kids.


As cheesy as it may sound, having a couple of small children does give you perspective on procrastination and your overall health and well-being.


So instead of running the risk of eventually looking like Leon Spinks in '78, I opted for 2 years of braces…18 months on good behavior.

18 months to 2 years is a small price to pay in terms of time, but not necessarily in monthly billing. Turns out braces are kind of expensive for us regular folk. And again, since I’m not a millionaire like Brady or Judge, I guess I’m hoping for a thousand dollar smile.


That, and being able to say to my kids, if I got them at 35, and you end up needing them, you can do it too, it’s no big deal.


Plus, think of all the great athletes that’ve had braces. Dwight Howard had them back when he was still cool, and so did Quinnen Williams who is very much cool right now.

Most of us aren’t blessed with the same abilities, looks, and resources that Tom Brady and Aaron Judge have access to.

Most of us go through life like Nestor Cortes in this picture. We’re just regular ass dudes that hardly ever have the spotlight on them.


But even a regular ass dude is capable of working for the Yankees with a big fat smile on his face.

...Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.






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