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Mr. Fantasy

The only guy that’s allowed to be more inaccurate with their prognostications than the weatherman, is a fantasy football guy.


A guy like Matthew Berry…what exactly does he do?

The answer to that question is supposed to be, Berry disseminates information that will undoubtedly help you construct a fantasy football team worthy of winning a title.


From the draft, to the waiver wire, he’ll give you the inside scope on what favorable player and matchup you should be lining up.


A couple problems with this. Everyone else in your league is privied to Berry’s advice, it’s not exactly G-14 Classified…again, they tried to do my guy Carter dirty.

More importantly, is he right? Because the way I see it, fantasy football is a crapshoot.


Under no circumstances did Berry, or any other fantasy football guru advise me to pick up Matt Asiata in 2014.

After Adrian Peterson was suspended, Asiata became arguably the best dual threat out of the backfield in the entire league. He scored three touchdowns on two separate occasions, and managed to catch 44 passes that season.


You’d have a better shot at taking a gamble and marrying Ginger…and having it actually work out than forecasting Asiata’s above average production that year.

Staying in 2014, I don’t remember anyone overtly telling me to pick up Dan “Boom” Herron off the waiver wire in Week 13. The sparingly used running back out of Ohio St., busted one for 49 yards, scoring his only TD in the regular season that year, and single-handedly winning that week for me.

Raymond Babbitt couldn’t possibly calculate those odds falling in my favor.

Skipping back a year to 2013, and we find the most well known player here, Eric Decker.

Landing in the, “I should probably draft a Denver Bronco this year considering all the options Peyton Manning has" spot. It doesn’t take a rocket science to foresee rostering Decker was a decent decision.


He accumulated over 100 receiving yards in five different weeks that year, and was a massive part of me making it to the chip game in 2013.


Unfortunately, just like Decker, we both came up short in the biggest game of the season.

Matt Asiata, Boom Herron, and Eric Decker didn’t help me win a fantasy football league. In fact, I’ve never won, and every year I contemplate hanging them up, but every year I hop back in.


Like I said, fantasy football is not rocket science. It’s not any science. You don’t need to sit around a rented out conference room like these guys for your draft, or listen to a fantasy football self-proclaimed prophet like Matthew Berry.

You just need to get lucky.


Because trying to predict this stuff is like sweeping leaves on a windy day.