Everybody wants to be in control of their own actions and surroundings.
There are two places no guy wants to end up.
1. In the throes of an impromptu situation that’s uncontrollably escalated quickly.
2. Severely underestimating your circumstance, leaving you dominated and defeated.
Excess of anything can cause us to short circuit, especially when that excess is centered around sports. There are certain times each year, certain momentous occasions that will leave even the hyper-focused of guy’s to succumb to the unproductivity that is their couch and television.
This one demands structure, because the events we’re about to cover have a tendency to leave our lives in a state of constant confusion and turmoil. They’ll be ranked from least disorientating to most…like Ron Burgundy said, “head on a swivel.”
4. The first sight of football on Week 1 hits different. The Encyclopedia is an advocate, and practicing Red Zone Guy…but we only acknowledge the true authentic.
Scott Hanson; and his small green room came into existence in 2009. The Hall of Fame Game doesn’t quite scratch the same itch as 8 hours of commercial free football.
I’ve recently heard some noise about Red Zone lacking the rhythm and flow that comes with watching a single game start to finish. A pro-tip for the naysayers, it’s 2022, adapt and become a dual-screen guy. One screen for Red Zone, one screen to watch your team play.
Plus, we’re strictly talking about Week 1, it’s a week that should be celebrated with as many screens, and games on those screens as possible.
After a long summer without football most guys will be inclined to match Hanson hour for hour, game for game. Don’t do that, there’s only one Scott Hanson, mix in some water and a bathroom break. Your stamina will build over the 17 week schedule.
3. I’ve taken the task to slowly education the non-soccer guys through The Encyclopedia. Number 3 on the list is Super Sunday. Not to be confused with Super Bowl Sunday, this day of the week comes with multiple games.
Ten games to be exact. The 20 teams in the Premier League will all hear the whistle blow at the same time to collectively find their end of the season fate.
For those that don’t know, the bottom three in the table will be relegated to the second division, and some will never play in the top flight again.
A spot that costs a team upwards of 100 million dollars, just to try and fight and scrap for 17th place.
You get both ends of the spectrum on Super Sunday. The relegation battle, and at the top of the table, there’s typically at least one Champions League spot up for grabs.
To qualify for Europe’s most prized knockout tournament is how a team goes from being mid-table, to attracting the best players in the world. The difference between finishing 4th and 5th place in the Premier League is the equivalent of becoming the Cleveland Browns or the New England Patriots, trust me, I know.
2. Spring is finally here, in fact, technically it started yesterday, and with it came the first four days of March Madness.
The initial taste of warm weather, with seemingly unlimited college basketball games on will cause a guy to do strange things. Like scheduling an unnecessary vasectomy so you can lay on the recliner with a bag of peas on your nuts for the entirety of the first round.
Another pro-tip, you don’t need a surgery to survive and advance, just take a look at a calendar and take two vacation days on Thursday and Friday ahead of time.
A third recommendation…get your passwords reset or found prior to tip-off. Between truTV, TBS, TNT, and CBS, if you’re a streaming guy like me, the app situation can become unmanageable…but at least we’ve finally found a Peacock that doesn’t suck.
1. This past January history was made as we experienced the first Super Wild Card Weekend.
Billed as the first Wild Card Weekend with a Monday Night game, the three day stretch ended up being about everything, except that Monday game.
By the time the Rams beat the crap out of Kyler Murray and the Cardinals, I was already comatose. With two games on Saturday, including my Bills turning up the heat on Bill Belichick in Buffalo.
Then, three games on Sunday, most guys could use a shower and maybe a dash of Fabreze on the sofa in an attempt to get the smell of non-stop sports off.
Not only was the NFL slate incredible, Super Wild Card Weekend included 10 NBA games on Saturday, January 15th, paired with 15 NHL games.
Culminating with Sunday, January 16th’s, 4 NBA games, and 2 NHL games.
My head hurts from just typing this. It was an exhausting weekend, but one that will stand the test of time.
To be able to bob and weave through these extensive sporting events that can last days requires a guy to keep his wits about him. When that box pops up on your TV screen and asks you if you’re still watching, you need a 6th sense.
The sense that calls upon your intangibles, to be able to reach out and touch that remote, because you’re still tuned in.
