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The Champ Is Here

Boxing is a lot like reading for most guys. The idea of it sounds great, but in practice it can be painstaking for some.


Last time I checked LeBron is still on page 2 of the Godfather.

Here’s a pro-tip for “the chosen one,” just listen to the audiobook.


Today’s boxing scene has front facing social media influencers, like the Paul brothers turning the sweet science into a biter tasty marketing campaign for clicks and follows.


Bert Sugar and his stogie would be rolling over in their respective graves right now if they witnessed some of the sideshow, and circus that’s allegedly making boxing great again.

An undisputed heavyweight champ used to throw their weight around inside and outside of the ring.

Paired with Mario Brothers for the o.g. Nintendo, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out is the first video game The Encyclopedia ever played.


Back when being halfway decent at video games didn’t require the time commitment of a full-time job, Little Mac was KO’ing Bald Bull with a jab to the solar plexus.


But who needs a Nintendo when you’re the king in the ring, and the original tiger king.

Before any average Joe could own a wild big cat, Iron Mike was an admirer of apex predatorial felines. To the point that the baddest man on the planet ended up in one of the most iconic comedies in the history of cinema, looking for his tiger.


When Kid Dynamite was just coming up in the late 80’s, an old head, and former heavyweight champ was just coming back.

George Foreman hung up his gloves for 10 years until he felt motivated enough to climb into the squared circle again. Thinking about it now, I probably should’ve featured Foreman here instead of Shaq.


From the picture above, it’s pretty clear that Big George never really stopped pitching products and cutting promo’s.


You might have to rewind the clock to remember Sears' 1-800 number, or the 50% deal you could get at Meineke for break pads...and shoes, but everyone knows the Foreman Grill.

A lean, mean, fat-reducing, grilling machine, Foreman has sold over 100 million portable electric grills.


But I’ve come to file a complaint against the manufacturers at Spectrum Brands. This so-called pristine drip pan doesn’t catch any drippings.


I’ve never cooked on mine, one time, and found the fat and oil to seamlessly enter this pan, it typically just trickles all over the counter.

Of course, it could be worse, I could be eating off the same grill Michael Scott cooked his foot on.

While they came close, these two titans never exchanged body blows on the canvas. It’d be tough to call between a Tyson right uppercut, and a Foreman straight right who’d of won.

But it’d be even more challenging to mark the scorecard on who’s winning in the advertising and media game.

I’m gonna go with a split decision draw.


One thing is crystal clear after this, there’s only one guy that can unify the title as undisputedly the best writer on the internet.