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The Complete Package

No matter how hard people try, somethings can’t be changed.

Change is not inevitable.

Take Kliff Kingsbury, the void of personal awareness, he was seen in Hard Knocks - In Season last week showing off his natural lighted Arizona mansion…once again. As if the first time we saw the softest war room known to mankind wasn’t enough.

And as we see in episode 1, it’s irrelevant how many times the Cardinals say they have no margin for error, they stink, and ultimately they’re just another 4-6 underachieving team that never lived up to expectations.

In fact, it’s a miracle this franchise ever made it to Super Bowl XLIII considering how ugly their uniforms have been for virtually the entirety of their existence.

Sure, if you look hard enough you can find the old jerseys Aeneas Williams used to wear, but usually, you’ll just come across the standard hideous Kurt Warner uniform that hasn’t changed since 2008.

If we’re being brutally honest, the Cardinals haven’t been cool since Rod Tidwell was catching out-routes by some guy off the practice squad.

Unlike Kliff Kingsbury, I do have self-awareness, so I totally recognize the fact I’m projecting the Bills 33-30 overtime loss to the Vikings yesterday onto the Cardinals.

Primarily because the Justin Jefferson 4th and 18, 32-yard one handed, improbable catch instantly reminded me of the DeAndre Hopkins' Hail Mary snag in 2020.

And since I’m currently contemplating the very real possibility that my Buffalo Bills may just be forever cursed, I’m taking it out on Arizona’s jerseys.

When Hopkins caught that Kyler Murray prayer two years ago, there was game of the year talk afterwards, much like there’s been game of the year talk after yesterday’s Bills Vikings game.

In 2020, the Cardinals finished 8-8, and the Bills went to the AFC Championship game, so it’s safe to say Buffalo had the last laugh. Minnesota is 8-1 now though, and clearly a title challenger. And the way things are going in Western, New York right now, it feels like tears will be shed before any laughs are had.

So, what else can I do, besides throw shade on the Vikings gear?

The Vikings uniforms are horrific, which is a shame, because as you can see, when John Randle was patrolling the line of scrimmage, they were wearing the classics.

From the matte purple helmet, to the black facemask. Minnesota may be 8-1, but their overall jersey setup is a bottom dweller within the National Football League.

Not every team can have pristine uniforms though. The complete package of winning football games matching up with looking good while doing it, is a rare combination.

Without a few yellow starburst in the pack, you wouldn’t actually appreciate the pink ones.

I mean, who doesn’t love a pink starburst? Much like a 6′5″ quarterback with a rocket arm, that also can truck-stick a middle linebacker, a pink starburst is elite.

But a yellow starburst, similar to Kirk Cousins; will humble you, when you need humbling…whether you know it or not.

Taking things for granted is human nature. In football, in life, and in writing.

At least I can take solace in the fact that all of the horrible blogs you read, or boring articles you peruse do serve a purpose. Because without those atrocities of writing, you wouldn’t appreciate The Encyclopedia.

Now if only The Bills could win a game the same week I decide to write something…that would be the ultimate complete package.

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